If you happened to watch the film “Gladiator” there was a scene that took place quite early in the film that for most people would have passed without much fanfare. It involves the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, played by Richard Harris, discussing the state of the empire with his favourite General “Maximus”, played by our very own Russell Crowe. The emperor exhorts Maximus to speak freely & Maximus duly responds. The relationship transforms from that of Ruler & Soldier to one of friends. Towards the end of the discussion Marcus Aurelius says “There is one more duty I would have you perform” (paraphrasing here) & the reaction of Maximus at this point is what intrigues me about this scene. He goes from intimate friend to, once the request is given by his emperor, immediately assuming the posture of soldier; coming to attention, hands clasped behind his back and saying “What would you have me do Caesar?” Now, this is a violent film & I am writing this article to neither condemn nor condone the merits of the film. If you will indulge me for a moment, I think that this little byplay between Maximus & the Emperor is a metaphor for all disciples. Read on if you dare.

The title of this article is “Life in a holding pattern” because, well, that’s kind of where my wife & I have discerned that we are with our lives right now. It’s not a place that either of us enjoys, it’s not where we were, & it’s not where we are going to end up. It’s not a desert, (although there are similarities) and we are not lost for we both believe that this is exactly where God wants us. We have had to spend the last 6 months discerning “if this is where we are meant to be, then how do we navigate our way through this time?” All of this being the case, I would like to share some reflections about what we have discovered since we arrived here.

First & foremost for us has been the ability & will to admit where we are. It is best described this way; two weeks ago, I was interviewed for our “work place” audio magazine. During the interview I spoke about a previous time some 6 years ago when we found ourselves in similar place. The interviewer asked “so what did you do during this time?” My response surprised even me. I replied something like, “well I had a job. Work is easy enough to find, but discerning how you live your life in a way that you are open to fulfilling the purposes of God in your life is something that requires every fibre of your being”. This is possibly a fancy way of saying that deep in your spirit, you know that where you are is not where God is leading the big picture of your life, but rather, it is a wayside stop. To have the patience to wait it out, not compromise your calling, & stay alert for signs from God is what takes all of the effort & diligence. Right now, my wife & I have paid work. For my part, I am working at a wonderful establishment with some really great people. However I can discern no connection between this place and the deeper purposes for which I believe I have been called & appropriately skilled. I have no problem going there each week, & indeed a part of me thinks that it would be a much easier path to stay here & make this my career. As an aside, if you’ve not yet discerned what you believe to be your purpose in Christ then that is a whole ‘nother subject for another day. So once you discover that this is where you are, the really big question is “what do you do?” Well, I don’t claim to be an expert, but I can share with you where this has taken my wife & me.

Dr Alan Meyer (Careforce Church Mt Evelyn) shared last year, that during one such recent time in his life, he found himself in unfamiliar territory. His first & foremost strategy was to get down to the basics of what it meant to be a Christian. For him that meant making sure that his prayer life was not compromised. Along with that he added things like being diligent in seeking God in his word, as well as fasting. This has to be primary. If you can’t find your way out of the forest, then spend some time consulting the creator of the road map. For me this has revealed some inherent weaknesses in the way I was doing life as a Christian. What Dr Meyer was speaking of, was almost describing what “muscle memory” is for elite athletes. When you can’t think of what to do, you just respond innately with the baseline of what you have trained your muscles to do. As a musician for some 30+ years now, I can relate to this. If I can draw on that unconscious realm of what I have trained my hands to do, then I will play whatever song is in front of me with some degree of competence. Sometimes though, you have to stop & analyse/break down just how you are playing something & possibly eliminate any bad techniques that have crept into to your baseline repertoire. Ask yourself this; when the heat is on, what is your default position, i.e. what have you trained yourself to do, or how have you trained yourself to respond?

This entry was posted on Monday, May 12th, 2008 at 8:37 am and is filed under The Wisdom Of The Scot. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.