My husband and I were discussing the other night how selfish Christians appear to be sometimes. (ourselves included) and we concluded that it was because as we try to be giving, we expect others to be the same. What I dream of is being as charismatic and giving as Christ was without expecting it in return.

“Is this what St Paul meant when he said “be in the world, but not of the world”?”
Nope, not at all.
I believe that Paul was saying ‘don’t do what comes naturally to you, for God’s ways cannot be figured out on your own, people don’t understand him’. In fact when he said ‘be in the world’ I think he was telling us to be an active person in society, realists and not just ineffective philosophers.

Some reasons why Christians have weaker social skills is because - Christ came for the underdog, the despised and the hated etc.. It’s the shonky people who don’t seem to have it together that can most easily find God.
I believe that to be ’spiritually aware’ is to be somewhat introverted and question what’s going on, on the inside of you. Having a communication line to God makes you content to spend time alone and question and seek answers.
A true Christian Virtue is that of Temperance, Those of us with Christian parents will simply not have exposure to the same experiences as the non-believer.
One of the main reasons the non-believer(generalizing greatly) works hard on his social skills is to have sex as frequently and with as many people as possible, while the Christian still has the same urges, he learns to supress this and doesn’t see a need to act… sexy, or appealing to the opposite sex.
I think all of this contributes to the difference in the social ability of believers.

My thoughts are that it’s not an attractive or beneficial thing to be shy or short for words socially, there’s much better ways to be ‘different’. Power, love and a sound mind. We won’t ‘fit in’ because we are not meant to conform to the world, but we can explain what we believe in and why in a way that people will hear it if we have strong social skills.

A great topic MM, I constantly thought about this during Youth Ministry, I always wanted to encourage activities that would help these people ‘fit in’ to society. I even considered a speed dating type activity where young people could talk with the opposite sex of different ages, I think we have some responsibility to teach life skills that will be valuable. Simply encouraging someone can make them more confident and help them to interact with their peers. Personally, I am quite the introvert, I enjoy time by myself doing my own things and learning/studying, but I understand that there must be a balance.